How to build gravitas and command respect

When I was working as a Director in my previous corporate role, I struggled with one key issue – gravitas. I knew my stuff, but I wasn’t always taken seriously. Despite my expertise, I wasn’t commanding the level of respect I deserved.

If you’ve ever felt the same, you’re not alone. Gravitas is one of those intangible qualities that makes you seem more authoritative, confident, and capable as a leader. It's not just about what you say; it’s about how you say it.

In this post, I’ll share four promises you can make to yourself to build gravitas and gain the respect you deserve.

1. Avoid Opening Your Sentences with an Apology

When you begin with an apology, you instantly diminish your own credibility. Even if you’re genuinely trying to be polite, it can come across as self-doubt. Instead, own your words from the start. Start your sentences with confidence, and if you need to say something critical or corrective, do so with assurance.

Tip: Rather than saying, “Sorry, but I think we should change direction,” try, “Let’s consider a shift in direction.”

2. Use Down talk Rather Than Uptalk

Uptalk – the rising inflection at the end of a sentence – can make you sound unsure, even when you’re not. To sound more authoritative, aim for down talk—a slight downward tone at the end of your sentences. This gives your speech a firm, grounded feel.

Tip: Practice speaking with a confident, steady tone that doesn’t rise at the end. It’ll immediately make you sound more in control.

3. Learn How to Hold a Silence

The ability to hold a silence is a powerful tool for gravitas. Pausing before you speak shows confidence and gives you time to collect your thoughts. It also gives your words more weight and makes others pay attention.

Tip: When you’re asked a question or preparing to make a point, pause for a couple of seconds before responding. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but it will help you sound more thoughtful and composed.

4. Speak 20% Slower

Speeding through your words might make you seem nervous or rushed, but speaking too slowly can make you seem disengaged. A slight reduction in pace helps you sound more thoughtful, deliberate, and in control.

Tip: When you practice speaking, consciously slow down by about 20%. It helps you appear more confident and gives others time to absorb what you’re saying.

Remember: Gravitas isn’t about being loud or domineering. It’s about speaking with authority, clarity, and purpose. These small adjustments can transform how others perceive you, and they can help you gain the respect you deserve in any leadership role.

Check out our course for leadership teams Building gravitas and executive presence or work on your own gravitas and presence through 1-to-1 presentation skills coaching.